"You're not going in are
you, mummy?"
"No," she said.
"We'll watch from outside." There was a big plate-glass window along
the front of the pub, and although it was a bit steamy on the inside, we could
see through it very well if we went close. We stood huddled together outside
the pub window. I was clutching my mother's arm. The big raindrops were making
a loud noise on our umbrella.
"There he is," I
said. "Over there." The room we were looking into was full of people
and cigarette smoke, and our little man was in the middle of it all. He was now
without his hat and coat, and he was edging his way through the crowd towards
the bar. When he reached it, he placed both hands on the bar itself and spoke
to the barman. I saw his lips moving as he gave his order. The barman turned
away from him for a few seconds and came back with a smallish tumbler filled to
the brim with light brown liquid. The little man placed a pound note on the
counter.
"That's my pound!"
my mother hissed. "By golly, he's got a nerve!"
"What's in the
glass?" I asked.
"Whisky," my mother
said. "Neat whisky." The barman didn't give him any change from the
pound.
"That must be a treble
whisky," my mummy said.
"What's a treble?"
I asked.
"Three times the normal
measure," she answered. The little man picked up the glass and put it to
his lips. He tilted it gently. Then he tilted it higher... and higher... and
higher... and very soon all the whisky had disappeared down his throat in one
long pour. "That's a jolly expensive drink," I said. "It's ridiculous!"
my mummy said. "Fancy paying a pound for something to swallow in one
go!"
"It cost him more than a
pound," I said. "It cost him a twenty-pound silk umbrella."
"So it did," my
mother said. "He must be mad."
Continue…
I answered her “really crazy”, as happens so deceive people, is a very
bad man.
My mother was furious and it said, I'll call the police and I going
reporting for fraud.
Yes, I said, that's right mother.
While she was calling the police, I observe fraudster man.
The little man was standing
by the bar with the empty glass in his hand. He was smiling now, and a sort of
golden glow of pleasure was spreading over his round pink face. I saw his
tongue come out to lick the white moustache, as though searching for one last
drop of that precious whisky. Slowly, he turned away from the bar and edged his
way back through the crowd to where his hat and coat were hanging. He put on
his hat. He put on his coat. Then, in a manner so superbly cool and casual that
you hardly noticed anything at all, he lifted from the coat-rack one of the
many wet umbrellas hanging there, and off he went.
"Did you see that!"
my mother shrieked. "Did you see what he did!"
"Ssshh!" I
whispered. "He's coming out!"
We lowered our umbrella to
hide our faces, and peered out from under it. Out he came. But he never looked
in our direction. He opened his new umbrella over his head and scurried off
down the road the way he had come.
"So that's his little
game!" my mother said.
"Neat," I said.
"Super." We followed him back to the main street where we had first
met him, and we watched him as he proceeded, with no trouble at all, to exchange
his new umbrella for another pound note. This time it was with a tall thin
fellow who didn't even have a coat or hat. And as soon as the transaction was
completed, our little man trotted off down the street and was lost in the
crowd. But this time he went in the opposite direction.
"You see how clever he
is!" my mother said. "He never goes to the same pub twice!"
"He could go on doing
this all night," I said.
"Yes," my mother
said. "O f course. But I'll bet he prays like mad for rainy days."
